3 Unexpected Life Lessons I Learnt — While I Was Away From The Cyber Space!

I t has been a while now! Sorry for the long absence. I couldn’t write anything for the last one month. It wasn’t just ‘writer’s block’. It was a mixture of so many things. Due to unavoidable reasons, I had to reorganize my time. Thus, I slipped out of cyberspace. But I learned a lot of life lessons during this time. Some were expected lessons whereas some were totally unexpected. Anyway, after a long gap, I am back! :-)

Lesson 1: Sewing is not just craft, it’s therapy too.

Mummy (my mother) used to stitch all our dresses including school uniforms until my 10th grade. She also used to do cross-stitch, embroidery, crochet, and so on. My lunch bags at that time were also made by Mummy using plastic wires and decorating them with small wooden beads. Mummy has always been a good cook and she really loves baking. Some of my friends used to get the taste of her cakes, tarts, puddings, ice creams, to name a few, when they visited my home. Mummy is a multitalented woman like many mothers (unlike my kids’ mother). ;-)

Now I feel I could have set aside some time for these things when Mummy was doing them on a daily basis. Though there was a hand-stitching class at one of the schools I studied, I never bothered to give much attention to that and was blindly in love with Maths and Science then. I only used to do emergency work like alteration of readymade dresses or side-stitching of dupattas.

Anyway, better late than never! Last month I joined a tailoring cum embroidery class. My teacher is the best teacher I ever had. The level of patience she has is really appreciable. Though it’s a one-to-one class, women of different age groups are present at the same time. I learned to stitch Kurtis, Palazzos, Salwars, and Saree Blouses. I am also learning embroidery stitches like Running, Back, Split, Stem, Satin, French knot, Chain, Lazy daisy, Feather, and Seed. Of these, the ‘Lazy daisy’ is my favourite. And I am still struggling with the ‘French knot’.

What I learned:

Sewing is really therapeutic. It forces me to be ‘in the present’ always. Also, it enhances hand-eye coordination. Hand embroidery is very good exercise for the fingers. It improves creativity and mindfulness. It gives me a world of good! And this has made my days more colourful than before. I realized that both sewing and hand embroidery requires more patience and concentration than Maths and Science. Creativity is not competition, it is intelligence having fun!

Lesson 2: It’s human to make mistakes and sometimes I’m more human than others.

Usually, I reserve all the tickets for my family members online, be it for travel or for movies. Once my husband booked a ticket for my son and the poor boy entered the train only to be told to come a month later! I got so tense and angry when I came to know of it. But my husband didn’t take it seriously saying it was just an error of one digit that anyone could have made! But I couldn’t accept it. I was quite confident that I would never make such mistakes.

A few weeks back, we were on our way to the airport to catch a flight to our native town. Halfway through the journey, my husband who was as usual absorbed in his phone asked the driver to stop the car. I was sure he had forgotten something and got irritated. But it didn’t last long. He told me calmly that the flight had already reached the destination 12 hours ago! I couldn’t believe it! The worst-case scenario had become a reality! Even after working for an IT company in the airline domain for more than five years I never thought I would make such a silly mistake. :-(

What I learned:

Oscar Wilde once said that ‘experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes’. Missing the flight because of the 24-hour clock format was a ‘great’ experience and definitely unforgettable! But a mistake is always a lesson to learn from. I also had to admit that to err is human, to forgive divine! Overconfidence can lead to self-disgust in a matter of moments. So always ‘Be confident, not overconfident’.

Lesson 3: Be prepared to be alone even when you need your near and dear ones the most.

My neighbour passed away last week. He was 80 plus. His wife, in her late 70s, still works as a teacher in a local school. They have two sons and both live in the US. When I visited them I saw only the mother and the elder son. I learned that the body was kept in the mortuary as the younger son would arrive only the next day. When I asked about their relatives she said they would all come when the body arrives! Though they live in the city, most of them are senior citizens. The next generation is mostly in the US or other cities.

I sat with her as she was narrating all the happenings in the previous days. She also shared her bitter experiences in the super-specialty hospital. She said she had to bribe the lift boy each time to use the lift! I just could not believe my ears. Even the attender in the ICU asked her ‘fees’ for changing the diaper of the old man! When she got the bill the room rent was Rs 2.4 lakhs for 3 days. When she asked about the astronomical nature of the amount, the staff verified it with some reluctance and finally explained that it was a simple mistake of an extra zero being added! I was quite shocked to hear all of these.

What I learned:

In life, I may have to face some situations alone. So I have to prepare myself to be alone even when I need my near and dear ones the most. Also, I have to double-check the amount before making a payment in any situation! And I have to remember to carry a lot of cash for ‘special fees’ if my dear ones (or I) are in the ICU of a super-specialty hospital.

A Few Final Thoughts:

It is true that every experience is meant to teach us something new! Sewing and hand embroidery kept me away from cyberspace. But, at the end of the day, they are giving my mind a chance to relax and reset.

Always learn from our mistakes and move on. Don’t forget that when someone dies our presence is more needed for the bereaved family than for the dead. Also, remember that money can’t buy happiness but it can definitely get things done when you are in (or in the lobby of) an ICU!

BTW have you ever been affected by a misunderstanding of the 24-hour clock system? Have you had any bitter experiences in any hospitals? Please share your experiences and tips if you do stitching, knitting or embroidery regularly.

Don’t be dead serious about your life — it’s just a play ~ Sadhguru

This story was first published in my personal blog — Melodies of Midlife